Consider the butt. There is no question that the hind quarters of mammals are actually butts, but considerable thought and careful study is required to determine if cephalopods, reptiles, or fish have butts. Not every living creature can have a butt. We are not living in an equal opportunity butt ecosystem. That is, not yet. Emerging technology has started stepping up to fulfill the butt-deficit in the animal kingdom.
Invertebrates are considerably challenged in this area. Current research has been halted because the biologists cannot determine where their butts are. This has created an enormous challenge for both scientists and armchair buttologists alike. Whether or not they should organically manufacture butts in petri dishes for invertebrates or use the new 3-D printing technology to create implants has become a divisive issue.
We must consider that the butt is not just a topographical feature on a body. The robust discourse that surrounds its beauty and appeal is a compelling argument for its inclusion in the performing arts. Or decorative arts. Butts can provide endless entertainment beyond their function, but they are certainly a blank canvas for many an artist.
All creatures deserve to have butts and if butts can be more clearly identified in non-mammals, the advances in science and technology will skyrocket. A newly formed non-profit organization called Butts For All Creatures has emerged to fulfill this need. Every time you think about butts and how convenient yours is and how easily accessible butts are, consider the butt deficit and how it impacts your future. Consider donating money or even portions of your own butt, if you have any to spare. It can save a life or create another butt. And that’s good for all of us.